The past few nights have been treating me a little...different? You see, ever since I was younger, I never did have any problems with falling asleep, and staying asleep. Recently ,however, it's as if my sleeping routine just suddenly went through a change, one completely unlike its regular state. It's as if my mind just randomly decided to be extra alert during the times that I definitely did not need it to.
Usually, after calling it a day, I would get in bed, simply lay there and say my prayers before finally, after a few minutes, fall asleep. I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, or early morning, if I really needed to go to the bathroom and then fall back asleep again with ease. But the recent nights were a total problem. Firstly, I would find it harder to fall asleep, sometimes just laying there awake for an hour. Then I would wake up four to five hours later, my mind unusually very alert and fully awake, despite it being the wee hours of the day. I would then only be able to fall back asleep two hours later. Then I would feel weary and drowsy when the time came for me to wake up already.
Of course, at first, I viewed these changes as something not cool, and destructive, as compared to what I am used to. What I noticed though, is that despite the disadvantages of having my sleep interrupted, I realized that during those silent moments that I stayed awake, I actually was able to spend more time with God. It was as if those hushed hours of the night was our special time where I could tell him all my thoughts, and He would simply be there, listening.
' What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near? '
That one line from a worship song called "Blessings" would always assure me that maybe, just maybe, what I would believe is insomnia, is actually God's way of letting me know that hey, He's just there, willing to listen to all my tales, whether they be interesting or not.
That no matter how lonely 3 am could seem, He will be by my side, ready to accompany me.
That He's constantly there.
And that He's really just another sleepless night away.